I am one of those moms who are privileged to be able to stay home to watch my kids grow and give them an early start in education. At the age of 2-3, both my daughters ( now a 4th grader and a 1st grader) started to read letters and their sounds; at the age of four, they were already reading three letter words and sight words, and they just kept on rolling, reading at the 3rd-4th grade level in Kindergarten. My efforts bore fruit as they were both tested for gifted education by the school (for FREE!..haha...) and were both placed in a special class for exceptional education. This particular class though has its perks and disadvantages. They are the "cream of the crop" I'd say and the ones "expected" to get good scores in standardized tests and raise the ranking of the school. Perfectly fine with me, if only they would loosen up and not bombard the kids with test-taking related activities and curriculum as if the tests are only what matter. Where I live, these tests will commence in two weeks. Weeks before, the school principal in my daughters' school eliminated play time during recess, expecting them to practice more writing skills instead. He held assemblies over and over stressing the importance of these tests and that the kids should not be absent for any reason unless they come down with a fever. He put stricter rules on tardiness saying that the tardies will have to make their missed work in his office. One can imagine the fear in the children's faces brought about by the thought of stepping into his office (he's a tough one!) to make up class work. My 4th grade daughter took it to heart and refused to go to school one day when we were running late. She has always been responsible and conscientious and she is one of those the principal took interest in: she was the only one who scored PERFECT in all tests last year and brought a BIG trophy for the school! The school also ranked #1 in the whole county and #7 in the whole state! He was so happy.
However, before taking these tests last year and although not recommended, my daughter and I were stressing the night before. I was going over math concepts with her, going over her missed questions in her papers (she struggled with telling time and some other stuff) and literally going against every sane advice that everyone (including me ) knows: RELAX and go to bed early! Anyway, she pulled it through and I promised myself not to stress her again. But now, I am having a share of stress on my own because I feel that everybody's eyes are on her especially from her own classmates' parents ( I had a funny feeling that they were not pleased with my daughter's achievement and would love to see her fall; bear with me ok and let my paranoia run wild a little:) So, my daughter now has to perform at the same level or even better (how can you score better than perfect?).
So, is my child ready? Last year, she verbalized that she was stressed out when I was putting her to bed (that was before I stressed her out further). She seemed ok at the outside so I just brushed it off and said that it will be fine. But backtracking now, I realized that she must be really and seriously stressed and boy, now I feel so guilty. These standardized tests are coming up soon and I am looking out for the slightest sign of stress in her. When they started to have take home writing assignments where they are expected to time themselves, I personally timed her. I went crazy when the timer went off and she was nowhere near the conclusion part. It took so much effort from me to critic and review where she had gone wrong. I recommended a time goal for each part of her essay and she learned it easily. Or so I thought. The following week with another timed writing assignment, to my surprise, she just broke down and cried after finishing only her first paragraph. She said she is stressing out and panicking, trying to follow the time guide. She is stressing out again this year, starting to feel the pressure, the tension, and yes, the high expectations of her from the school, from the teachers, and of course from ME! In my mind, thoughts were racing: will she finish her writing on time and all her other tests as well? will she miss a lot of questions? will she get migraines or stomach aches before the test? or will she even make it to the test without getting sick? Also, what should I do?
Where am I going with this? I guess the point I am making is, we as parents should not add stress to what our children are having and what the school are already burdening them with, and try our very best to help our children de-stress. Schools and teachers have their own issues by the way and they do not like this stress either, but since these standardized tests are here to stay for the meantime (I don't want to discuss the ridiculous politics involved here; that's another topic), I am coming up with ways to reduce the stress level of my child (and me:) brought about by these tests. I've been told many times that children feel their parents' stress so I'll start with myself and keep my promise not to stress her again this year.
So, number 1: RELAX . I am thinking of a full day relaxation period before the test or watch funny movies or videos every night. My daughters love family time movies so this is definitely on my list. A full spa, too for my kids and I (hopefully with the dad wallet's approval).
#2. GET TO BED EARLY. Or earlier than usual in our case (8-9 pm instead of 10 pm, I know, I am a horrible mom!) even if there's a lot of homework. My daughter's teacher gives out homework passes for good behavior every week. I do not allow my daughter to use these passes before because I didn't want her to miss a single learning page but now, between staying up until midnight to finish homework or homework passes, I let her choose the latter.
#3. EAT MORE CHOCOLATE. Ok, this is brain food and I'm not merely trying to cheat on my diet (she eats when she sees me eat). Silly idea still but my daughter loves chocolate and I regulate it but until the test, I'll be giving her extra. (Feel free to retaliate to this, ok?)
#4. MOTIVATE and INSPIRE. How? I've been doing that though not as effectively as I thought. I'll get back to you on this, ok? Now, where are those self-help books?
#5. READ FUNNY STORIES/MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES AT BEDTIME. Now this I have started before but failed to follow through so I will have to pull myself away from the computer and break away from my studies to make sure I give my daughters something to laugh about before going to sleep.
#6. When in doubt or dead tired, TURN IT OVER TO THE PROFESSIONALS. There are many free resources out there for parents and children about motivation, relaxation, stress-busting tips, advice, techniques, strategies for test-taking anxiety, all at the tips of our fingertips. All we have to do is tap and click on them. I found an interesting one (I found a lot by the way):
http://bigtestsuccess.com/
They have a free Webinar this week and I am going to check them out.
#7. JUST LOVE and PRAISE THEM. Whatever results or performance they bring home, they are still our precious, super-bright, adorable children that we will always be proud of.
#8. MORE IDEAS TO COME for ideas have no limit.
How about you? What do you do to help your children reduce their stress on standardized tests? If other moms out there have any helpful resource for us, feel free to share and keep me in the loop.
However, before taking these tests last year and although not recommended, my daughter and I were stressing the night before. I was going over math concepts with her, going over her missed questions in her papers (she struggled with telling time and some other stuff) and literally going against every sane advice that everyone (including me ) knows: RELAX and go to bed early! Anyway, she pulled it through and I promised myself not to stress her again. But now, I am having a share of stress on my own because I feel that everybody's eyes are on her especially from her own classmates' parents ( I had a funny feeling that they were not pleased with my daughter's achievement and would love to see her fall; bear with me ok and let my paranoia run wild a little:) So, my daughter now has to perform at the same level or even better (how can you score better than perfect?).
So, is my child ready? Last year, she verbalized that she was stressed out when I was putting her to bed (that was before I stressed her out further). She seemed ok at the outside so I just brushed it off and said that it will be fine. But backtracking now, I realized that she must be really and seriously stressed and boy, now I feel so guilty. These standardized tests are coming up soon and I am looking out for the slightest sign of stress in her. When they started to have take home writing assignments where they are expected to time themselves, I personally timed her. I went crazy when the timer went off and she was nowhere near the conclusion part. It took so much effort from me to critic and review where she had gone wrong. I recommended a time goal for each part of her essay and she learned it easily. Or so I thought. The following week with another timed writing assignment, to my surprise, she just broke down and cried after finishing only her first paragraph. She said she is stressing out and panicking, trying to follow the time guide. She is stressing out again this year, starting to feel the pressure, the tension, and yes, the high expectations of her from the school, from the teachers, and of course from ME! In my mind, thoughts were racing: will she finish her writing on time and all her other tests as well? will she miss a lot of questions? will she get migraines or stomach aches before the test? or will she even make it to the test without getting sick? Also, what should I do?
Where am I going with this? I guess the point I am making is, we as parents should not add stress to what our children are having and what the school are already burdening them with, and try our very best to help our children de-stress. Schools and teachers have their own issues by the way and they do not like this stress either, but since these standardized tests are here to stay for the meantime (I don't want to discuss the ridiculous politics involved here; that's another topic), I am coming up with ways to reduce the stress level of my child (and me:) brought about by these tests. I've been told many times that children feel their parents' stress so I'll start with myself and keep my promise not to stress her again this year.
So, number 1: RELAX . I am thinking of a full day relaxation period before the test or watch funny movies or videos every night. My daughters love family time movies so this is definitely on my list. A full spa, too for my kids and I (hopefully with the dad wallet's approval).
#2. GET TO BED EARLY. Or earlier than usual in our case (8-9 pm instead of 10 pm, I know, I am a horrible mom!) even if there's a lot of homework. My daughter's teacher gives out homework passes for good behavior every week. I do not allow my daughter to use these passes before because I didn't want her to miss a single learning page but now, between staying up until midnight to finish homework or homework passes, I let her choose the latter.
#3. EAT MORE CHOCOLATE. Ok, this is brain food and I'm not merely trying to cheat on my diet (she eats when she sees me eat). Silly idea still but my daughter loves chocolate and I regulate it but until the test, I'll be giving her extra. (Feel free to retaliate to this, ok?)
#4. MOTIVATE and INSPIRE. How? I've been doing that though not as effectively as I thought. I'll get back to you on this, ok? Now, where are those self-help books?
#5. READ FUNNY STORIES/MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES AT BEDTIME. Now this I have started before but failed to follow through so I will have to pull myself away from the computer and break away from my studies to make sure I give my daughters something to laugh about before going to sleep.
#6. When in doubt or dead tired, TURN IT OVER TO THE PROFESSIONALS. There are many free resources out there for parents and children about motivation, relaxation, stress-busting tips, advice, techniques, strategies for test-taking anxiety, all at the tips of our fingertips. All we have to do is tap and click on them. I found an interesting one (I found a lot by the way):
http://bigtestsuccess.com/
They have a free Webinar this week and I am going to check them out.
#7. JUST LOVE and PRAISE THEM. Whatever results or performance they bring home, they are still our precious, super-bright, adorable children that we will always be proud of.
#8. MORE IDEAS TO COME for ideas have no limit.
How about you? What do you do to help your children reduce their stress on standardized tests? If other moms out there have any helpful resource for us, feel free to share and keep me in the loop.
